what a horrible two days it has been. the one thing that i do not enjoy is the beginning of new things and changes in my life. i started my second year of college yesterday, and these past 2 days has just felt wrong. of course, i always get these feelings whenever i start new things, a job, a new school year, a new relationship. it just feels like i'm just not happy at the second. i know once i get back into the swing of getting up in the morning, forcing myself to do homework, and everything else, i know everything will go back to normal. as of right now though, everything feels weird. i've had headaches for the past 3 days in a row after school. this week is going by a little too slow, and i know after this week and probably the next, i'll be just fine with school in my life. does anybody else know what i'm talking about? everything just seems unwelcoming. the one place i feel like i can do anything i want and describes me is my room, and even that feels unwelcoming (i can never do my homework in my room or my house). right, so i just hope my emotions become stable soon, and i hope tomorrow is sunny and nice because i would like a good day.



Me

it's been quite the summer, and i would say the best one yet. to start it off, i drove down to atlanta with a bunch of my friends to see radiohead in concert, which was amazing. it was my first time, and hoped that it wouldn't be my last. musically it was by far the most impressive thing i have ever seen, and reality, it was the best way to kick the summer off for me. very much after, there was much hanging to be done each and almost every night. i've always come to appreciate the beginning of the summer because on a sunday night, you have a whole 'nother week of just nothing, which was great, and you can only think, "it's June, school doesn't start till the end of August." well later, i went to Scotland to visit my brother, Jeremy, at the end of June/beginning of July. honestly one of the coolest things i have ever done. taken a plane to London, and taking a train all the way up to Edinburgh to meet my brother out of the complete randomness of people. totally cool. again, i saw radiohead in Glasgow with my bro and some of his friends. everybody in Scotland was just cool and welcoming. i'd like to go back someday for sure. i took a train back to London where i stayed in a hostel with 6 guys. i was going to take a train to see Max Richter at Union Chapel, but i only got help from one person, and decided to take a 30 minute walk there. i liked the walk better only because i got to see London for what it was. to be honest, it wasn't too impressive. just a cleaner version of New York i would say. the one thing about this trip that made it so special was that it proved to myself that i am more mature in so many different ways. all by myself, i made it from Memphis, TN all the way to London to Edinburgh, i'm impressed. so the beginning of July, i got back, and did more hanging out with friends. with more small things that happened, that's been my summer really. it's been great just to reconnect and connect with some old and new faces.

everybody is gone in every which way, we have all gone our separate ways, but i know we are all still together somewhere.

Matt

i haven't typed in a while, i just haven't had anything to say in a while, except for now.

ever get the feeling like you can't focus on anything you have to get done when there are like 8 things you still have to do? i have a really hard time with that, i try to just focus on one thing, and the only thing i can really think of is "you better get all of this done before it's due!!!!!" ahhh, well that's it haha

i start school on monday, and i'm semi-excited. i just hope my teachers give me unnecessary work to do like in high school..should be good though!

i would say that i am well rounded when it comes to friends. i don't have one particular group of friends that i hang out with, and things are well with everyone. though there are some friends within those groups that make me a little mad once the day is over. i had a dream once where i was in an airplane, and a friend of mine sat next to me and said, "what do you think it wrong with our group besides the 'yeah yeah yeah' people?" i woke up before i answered in the dream. i laid in bed, and answered it. in a particular group i hang out with, there are people who see friendships on levels. i feel like some of these guys see that if you aren't on the same level as them, they won't really be a friend to you. i feel like they think they are so bad ass and cool, subconsciously, and the people who are really submissive always laugh at what they have to say; moreover, things are different when two people are on two apparently different levels. that really infuriates me. i hate the thought that i have to be at a certain level of cool to be that sort of friend with someone. while they think they are awesome, people like me just have to think that these people are not cool at all, and are horrible friends.

i guess these are some of the struggles that i heard about when going into college. things that you think that probably wouldn't happen ends up happening. i've actually had this same problem with these people earlier this year, and it faded away at one point. i actually was pretty good friends with a few, but it just happened again. i'm not afraid to say any of it. these people are not that great of friends at all, and where the submissive people wouldn't mind it or think twice about it, i've already made my judgments, and that's how i see these people now. what am i to say if they ever ask why we aren't as good of friends as everyone else? i dunno. maybe i'm being vague, and put this in not the best of descriptive words, but i know how i feel.



depressing post, but things are good.

Matt

The Ideal Setback - Qualia Live At Square Beans Coffee


i played a show with the ideal setback on saturday and here is a little bit of what we did.

it's been awhile guys, my bad. it's been a very quiet and fast month for sure. the one thing that kills me is to think about how far away class was in the spring, and now knowing that class was such a long time ago, that means summer is almost over. it's been a really good summer i would say. i wish i could have the same state of mind i had when i was in Scotland. just the thought that i didn't even think about anything that was happening in America for more or less 2 weeks was bliss only because i know i couldn't do anything on my "to do" list...i was in Scotland! i am going to try to have more me days. i love the fact that i get the house to myself during the day since mum is at work. things are quiet, and i like that. i'm finding out more and more each day that i am quite the calm and quiet person, which doesn't reflect on my personality at all. things are going well, and i am ready for new things..new things for sure

Matt

Our cable went out yesterday and today, and I have a huge urge to watch TV now. When I was in Scotland, I didn't really think about watching TV at all. When I'm at home, I don't watch too much TV, but I know it's there. since our cable went out, I want to watch now. It's strange just because when TV was taken away from me, I cared. When it was around, I didn't notice it too much. When I move out into an apartment, I know I won't have cable just to save money, and I know I won't care that there isn't TV. When it's taken away, I feel different.

This was an odd post haha. Well I relieved my TV needs, and maybe you can too. Cable is still out, but I've been watching stuff from www.tv-links.cc, so things have been ok.



I've been dabbling in Frou Frou a little bit. Some of it is ok, the rest is kinda eh. All I know is that I've been listening to Radiohead too much, and it's time for a break.

Me

PS-I'll try to upload some pictures of Scotland when I get around to it. Most of them are on facebook though..

today was nice. the kind of day that i wanted today was having a summer day like i was a kid. i mowed the yard, and i rode my bike to the pool to swim. we would ride out bikes to swim every single day during the summer way back when, and when we got back home, mom would already have sandwiches ready for us to eat when we were dried out from the sun. well mom was at work, so i went to Holiday's and got a sandwich. that was pretty much it haha, nothing too dramatic. it was just a nice, calm, and relaxing day that i wanted to re-recognize.



Me

this has been an incredible summer so far, but a personal worst. this has been the laziest summer i have had in a very long time. i remember when it was the summer with me being a senior in high school the coming up year, i would always see on the clock on top of the big screen tv in the living room would say it would be 3(because SNL on E! would have been over by that time), and i just knew that my day was over already. didn't really have a lot of friends to hang out with at that time, the majority of the day was spent in front of the TV, it wasn't good. anyways, i guess i should give myself more credit because i am hanging with friends at night time, and in the day, i am playing the piano or doing something relatively productive sometimes. i have an application to GAP sitting right in front of me, completely filled out, and i think i can get the job, but i haven't turn it in. i don't know why either, i tell myself at the start of each day that i would turn it in, but it's still sitting right there. maybe because i am just too lazy to start a job. all i know is that if i won the lottery and didn't have to work another day for the rest of my life, i would just be in this same position. i'm thinking that maybe the trip to Scotland will cleanse the laziness within since i am out doing something incredibly productive. other than that, i'm going to try to change.

i leave this friday for Scotland

Matt

what i will be seeing in a few weeks

Scottish people:


Radiohead:


and Max Richter:


it's going to be a good English/Scottish week that week :)